Well.. a lot has happened tonight so.. I'll just start off with what's going on in my mind right now..

In just about a year I'll be graduating high school already.. it just seems so soon.. it's almost as if you're just opening the door from your fantasy world into real life you know..? It just doesn't seem possible.. No longer am I a baby that has to be pampered by my parents but I'm growing up.. soon I'll be an adult already and I'll be looking out for myself.. It's such a huge change for me.. it's not something I'm really used to.. I love my family and everything and.. in just a few years I'll have to leave them.. but it's part of nature I suppose. That every child has to leave their family at some point.. I've just never really considered it.. now that I have.. it's bigger than I thought it was..

But I have made my choice. It's time I started putting my own pants on and doing things myself. I can't depend on other people to do things for me. Depending on others isn't going to get me anywhere in life. I need to exert effort into doing what I have been striving for this entire year. And that is to be with the one I love.

I can't be lazy anymore.. I can't just sit in the back seat and watch the trees go by. It's time I took the driver's place and led my own life. No one else is going to do it for me. It's up to me to decide what it is I want to do. I know I will be happy with my decision.. it's just the whole process that I need to go through.. I think it's too much right now.. but that's because I don't want to do anything. I can't be like this. Doing that will only ruin me and everything that we have worked for. I refuse to lose you just yet. Not now. Not after all we have gone through. You know my decision. And I will stick to it. I don't care what does to me. I will do whatever it takes just to reach you..

I broke your heart once and I'll never do it again >.< I'm so sorry.. I never meant to do it.. I just didn't want to let go of being a kid.. but I have to grow up.. I will be with you.. I'll do everything I can to achieve what we have always fought for.

I'm so sorry for hurting you.. I am leaving this here because I want you to know how much I care about you. I don't care how many people read about this. I just want you to know that I will never leave you..

Please forgive me..